The lifespan of a dot mayfly is lesser than 24 hours. Do you know the lifespan of the secret in your heart? It is forever. Interestingly, it doesn’t stay there without your consent, and there lies the problem—we allow it to decompose and undermine our wellbeing.
My decision to not keep my mental health a secret did cost me a termination. But my decision to reveal to psychiatrist thoughts that were triggering me toward a future of negative secrets led me to better sleep.
Experts Debate the Idea of Secrecy
Dr Debashish Ray, a reputed psychiatrist from India, supports the idea of secrecy. According to him, “secrets preserve the private space and individuality.” What Dr Ray refers to is a non-corrosive secret—one that doesn’t demand to stay a secret forever unless you choose to.
Bad secrets gain definition from the Associate Professor of Leadership and Ethics at Columbia Business School, Michael Slepian, in psychological effects of secrecy. Although he considers the ability to keep a secret a “developmental milestone,” an innate sense of autonomy for adolescents, but as adults, secrecy is an index of lower wellbeing and relationship quality.
The study further explains how people with negative secrets disengage from their reality and occupy themselves in the morality of it more than the confrontation. Dig into this report to understand the harmful effects of concealing a negative secret.
What is Negative Secret?
A negative secret is a secret that throttles your presence of mind, holds you back from disclosing information that can cause you shame and embarrassment. Negative secrets are more destructive because they can derail us, if not directly, through consequences.
Identifying the Origin of Negative Secrets
We are seven billion humans on planet earth. The average response of this population to any given situation is the social skeletal of normalcy. This “normalcy” is the average response of a healthy mental faculty that is programmed to live easy. However, if the response is not a part of popular response/reaction (anger, sorrow, jealousy, temptation etc.,) intends to harm the self or a person, is withheld to avert guilt and/or punishment leading to the concealing of an episode, it is a negative secret.
Reclaim your Wellbeing: Don’t keep it a Secret
It is human to have negative thoughts that provoke a person toward something later concealed for fear of abomination. I suggest you give yourself time, orient yourself for a visit to a psychiatrist, who depending on the situation, may either put you on medication or deescalate it to a psychologist for CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy). Don’t entertain any apprehension about the effectiveness of the consultation. Go for it like I did and many do, and you will be damn fine!
More Powerful than Yoga: Practice Gratitude
The easiest way to restore your wellbeing is to reject any negative thoughts. But I know how hard it is to stop water from crystallizing at a standard freezing point. Yoga is undoubtedly useful as you meditate and relax your body, occupying yourself with gratitude for everything you have will save you from the grip of anything negative.